Friday, September 16, 2011

Ditching Class.- Step 1 Put Za PRINDL In Za D!

Buono Sera (I'm assuming you'll be waking up in the evening) to all my single digit readers. With the first week of school done, I'm sure most of you will be taking the weekend as an opportunity to get up past noon. So in no way will you be prepared to read anything and I have no idea why the heck am I posting this...Still for the FEW of you that may be awake I thought that for those who can't stand the pressure of school ditching is still the most common option  ( besides faking your own death ). But how to do something when you have no idea how to...Not to worry because I have personally ripped off the internet and have found the most common ways to ditch:

1 -  The Toilet. Common for both guys and girls hanging around in the bathroom is effectively the most disgusting thing to do...Seriously GERMS, anyways its perfect for those unfinished conversations that couldn't be completed because they only give us like 2 minutes between class and some teachers take joy in being there early. Be careful though of those teachers who don't allow more than one student at a time. My suggestion, make advanced plans with your friends in different classes to meet at the same time.

2 - Nurse. For those who can't afford to waste more of your precious time sitting in class or didn't get enough siesta time last night cause you were up till 4 a.m. This is definitely the best option. Simply be excused for feeling sick go the nurse complaining of body pain and then take a nap in a comfy A.C. room. A useful tip, stay outside in the sun for a while so that your temperature goes up and you start sweating to make it look like you have a fever.

3 - The arrived late. Don't like first period but are already in school? Simply take your bag hide it, don't appear for registration miss first class and then come for the rest. Your excuse: 'There was an accident on the road and so I'm late'. This can be very useful for regular ditching if the road you take coming to school is prone to traffic jams. Just be careful if anyone other than those who are in on the ditch plan see you before school. You know nerds and snitches like me =P.

4 - I was in the office paying my fees. A tricky little ditch to pull off, you'll need to ensure the teacher for the class your ditching does not see you before school starts. Then you'll have to actually go to the office and pretend to ask for something important. Also this can be only used for ditching either in the morning or just after break.

5 - Delayed after break for improper uniform. Cannot be done regularly. The idea is you skip class after break with the excuse of being held back for improper uniform. What actually happens is that you laze around anywhere you want for about half the class, then you walk in after removing your belt/tie e.t.c

6 - Family Emergency. Got a dental appointment that's just after school? Why not skip the last class? The brilliance of this plan is that you can actually get your parents to help you. Simply book the appointment for before school ends, tell your parents it's booked for after, then call them using the school phone explaining that your appointment was actually 1:30 and not 2:00. Result, buh bye last period.

7 -  THE IT'S MY BIRTHDAY SO I MISSED HALF THE DAY GETTING THE CAKE FOR CLASS. Exactly what it sounds an incredibly complicated to pull off. Firstly, it's got to be your birthday, second you will need a cake, most importantly this will require entire class cooperation. The idea is you bring the cake to school hide it, then miss the first half of the day and during break you bring out the cake and celebrate, not because it's your birthday but because you actually pulled off this crazy ditch

  • Be convincing
  • Have a back up excuse
  • Never use more than 3 ditches per week
  • Have a good reputation
  • Teachers will tell on students other than theirs
  • Always help an inexperienced ditcher in need

    IMPORTANT- Ditching is HARAM...don't do it. This was merely way for people to understand the art of ditching, I do not approve this message cause it's me Come on. Hope you Found this article enlightening. Actually I've barely scratched the surface of a professional ditcher. Still it's not like I'll be ever doing any of these. Anywayz Come back for more POST!!! =P

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